Upend the drama triangle

Drama in the workplace is exhausting. And it’s one of the main reasons team initiatives falter. Work discussions are not just information exchanges. They are social exchanges, in which participants seek social goals, like acceptance, trust, status and power. Enter in the Drama Triangle — a framework created by psychotherapist Stephen Karpman. This simple tool… Read more

To Call Out Is Human: To Transcend Aggression is Divine

If the famous naturalist and broadcaster David Attenborough were to do field research in progressive circles, he might document in his curious tone, “The humans I witnessed sat behind their computer screens and typed with aggressive keystrokes. They appeared to be in an agitated state — their heart rates high and their sweat glands activated.”… Read more

Slow it down

Decisive. Active. Speedy. Our culture values these attributes. We want to get stuff done. And we want to get stuff done quickly. I have bought into this “quick to act” mindset for years. And it’s gotten me pretty far. But recently, I’m exploring how and when this doesn’t serve me – or my clients. Sometimes… Read more

How to decide what to ignore

It’s ok to ignore things. I often help clients decide what ideas they need to ignore. They usually already know they should ignore them, but they waver because they worry about missing opportunities. This is a leadership tension. When should you pivot to an opportunity that arises? When should you stay the course with your… Read more

Worthiness: How you feel impacts how you treat others

I just spent a week meditating and practicing how to create enlightened society with a bunch of Buddhists. Yes – you read that correctly. We are aspiring — in this crazy day and age — to create enlightened society. And we believe the change begins with ourselves. One of those changes is feeling worthy. Few… Read more

Read this before having any courageous conversation

Many people are conflict-averse and do their best to avoid discord. I am one of them. But to be a strong leader, one must engage in courageous conversations — the ones that can be sticky, painful, and uncomfortable. Here’s a process that can make them easier. Heads up to Robert Gass for his insight: (1)… Read more

Make your “not to do” list

Choosing what NOT to do is almost as important as choosing what to do. I’ve seen so many clients overextend themselves and not reach their goals because they were distracted by extracurriculars. What are you not going to do this year? Answer these questions and see what rises to the top of your “not to… Read more

Leadership: What outcomes do you want?

It’s easy to confuse “being busy” with “impact.” That’s why every act of leadership should begin by answering this question: What outcome do you want out of this act? Identifying clear outcomes clarifies whether you are being successful or not. Outcomes for this process can be objective and easy to measure. Or they can be… Read more